I will admit, I'm terrible with keeping in touch with people or keeping up with things I commit to do. I hardly talk on the phone, I'd rather email/text/procrastinate. If something isn't constantly at the forefront of my mind, I tend to forget about it.
This blog.
It hasn't been at the forefront of my mind, because my "so called life" has been spinning in all directions. It's been a stressful last few months. Some of the stress self-inflicted. Some can't be helped. Right now, I'm supposed to be excited and happy and nervous because I'm entering contest prep, and I'm certain I'll do/be better than my first cycle. However. How...Ever.... I'm not any of those things. I'm sullen, sad, tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, and to be quite honest, I'm not handling it very well. I snap at people, I've isolated myself, I over train at times because it's my way to cope. Hmm. To add insult to injury, my Grandmother passed away this week. Luckily, I saw her about 9 days prior to her death because I happen to be going to the DMV Area. See.. I hadn't seen her in 12 years. I'd talked to her, but hadn't laid eyes on her. I feel bad that I let 12 years go by, but it's life. We make mistakes, we learn and we move on.
There's that.
What else is there? Pfft.. Do you have a bowl of popcorn popped and some diet ginger ale? We could be here a while...*sigh* I'm not going to go into every single nook and cranny of my life right now and why I feel the way I do. At times, I'm not certain if I can handle contest prep right now. I hardly sleep (which I should be doing now), I don't ever have time for anything (out the door before 7 for and hour and a half commute to work, then the same commute --- sometimes longer--- to the gym after work), I have two actual paying jobs which stress me, I have three different professions (all with current licenses) that I haven't been able to make work, and I'm always hungry.. *shakes head* Such is life.. and I'm just trying to stay afloat.
Why did I write all this? I dunno... My mind was moving, so my fingers wanted to get in on it.. Plus, even though I don't do it often, I like to write. I have to get the crazy between my ears on the the paper.. ok screen. Well, I guess I needed to get all that off my chest because now, I am crazy tired.
Tomorrow is a new day, let's make it great.. It's Friday, for goodness sake...
L.
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