Morning...
I haven't blogged in a while, cause I haven't stopped moving long enough to sit down and write. But I'm 9.5 weeks out from showtime. A few things have happened but this morning I was moved to put "pen to paper", so to speak. Well, I guess "fingers to keys".. lol.
First off, I want to thank EVERYONE for the ourpouring of support, donations, kind words. I never in a million years imagined that people would care so much about my personal journey to the stage. I'm so grateful for everything, everyone. My coaches, my sponsor, my close friends, my family. You have no idea how much it all means to me.
K... So I wanted to address my pics. I know I post a ton of pics on my progress towards the show. My leanness. Please don't be misled.. the way I look now, I probably will NOT look the
same in November. This is my "Getting Contest Lean" body.. lo. Currently I'm about 165 - 170 lbs, but relatively lean, meaning, I'm carrying a good amount of muscle. however, I am not naturally this lean. My walk around weight will probably be about 175-180 lbs. So, post show, I WILL be bigger (not fat, but bigger). :-)
Next, I've taken a lot of flax for being bitchy, complaining, being an
asshole, etc this past week. Honestly, it hurts. It really does. Contrary to popular belief, I am pretty sensitive. I try to block it out, but It's hard. I put my heart and soul into this prep. I've spent thousands on it; coaches, food, supps, clothes, on top of bills. When confronted about my complaining, I was told "you don't have to compete; its a privilege, etc". Um, I am WELL aware that I don't have to do a damn thing. I could have spent that money elsewhere, like paying down my CC debt, or putting it towards a vacation, or on that 95K student loan payment.. yeah. I don't have to compete, I chose to. My decision. Just because I remark on how difficult it is, doesn't mean I love it any less.
I embrace my muscle; I embrace this sport that has been kind to me. I love training. I love this challenge, but it's been an extremely long prep for me. I've been dieting since March;
training on less food, Working (the main gig, plus demos) and really not
getting much sleep. So If I bitch and complain, I bitch and complain.I need it to get by sometimes.
There will be times I don't feel like talking. I'm tired. At 6 am, coming off a bad night, I'm not in a mood to be social. I'm not really a morning person. My body hurts. This morning, I woke up exhausted after only 4 hours sleep, to do my cardio, with sore legs, and a bad case of gas that would not dissipate. You try doing 35 mins of cardio with gas and bloating. That shit was rough, but I did it. I feel like crap, but that's okay. I'm making great progress and I'm happy about that.
My
name is Lynette, not Willy Wonka and I don't sugar coat shit. Contest
Prep is hard. Very. Mentally and Physically. This is the most draining experience ever, but it's SO rewarding at the end. I'm not the type to suck it up and
"smile for the cameras". I give you the real. If I have an attitude, I
have one. If I'm angry, you know it. I keep it #100 with everyone, always. That is me and will always be me. I have mood swings, I have a temper. I'm human. Just like everyone else. Some days are great; Some days suck.
I know I have a very public presence, particularly as it concerns fitness, but because I am public, I don't owe anyone a 24/7 good mood; I can't
give you that. I don't owe you every detail about my life; I've been asked if I had plastic surgery, lipo, gastric bypass, etc.. NO! I have not had any of that, it has been over 10 years of long hard work; trial and error; gains and losses. I try to be as polite as I can; I really do. But it's not always easy. Those that really know me, and I mean KNOW me and see what I go thru on the daily, know, it nothing personal against anyone, but it's just how I am.
"Those that matter don't mind; and those that mind don't matter"
With that said, we move forward in these next 9 weeks to the stage. I'm excited but drained at the same time. Lol.. In competing we often say, "Love the Process"... It's like a marriage, you may not always agree or like your partner but you always love them.
xoxo,
Lynette
